It's Party Time!

Hey, Becca?

Uhhh, yeah?





I'm having a party! Do you want to come to my party?

Is this a REAL party, or am I going to be wallet-snatched?




I'm hosting a party so I can get free stuff while someone else tries desperately to sell you {insert any of the following: lotions, Tupperware, lingerie, kitchen supplies, LEGOs, wash rags}. It'll be so much fun!

Ah, yes... that does sound... "fun". I don't really have money to spend right now. I'm sorry!




But you literally NEED these things, I mean... you can never have enough rags to wash off your LEGOs with, or lingerie to use in the kitchen!

I actually just spent all my money on things like a fence, and grass, and sprinklers, (and now I have to buy a new bed because the one I have is making my back hurt.) You know... things I actually literally need.

Oh, you can finance your purchases if you need to. It's super easy!

I'm really sorry, but I just can't spend the money right now. We really do have a tight budget right now, plus Christmas is around the corner.

These {lotions, Tupperware, lingerie, kitchen supplies, LEGOs, wash rags} would make GREAT Christmas gifts!

Listen. I'm poor. I don't have money. You can keep telling me to go into debt for a rag, or you can just accept the fact that I'm not coming and move on. My budget says "no". I still like you as a person, it's just not gonna happen. (Does this sound like a break-up gone bad to anyone else?)

Oh, okay. Well, we'll miss you! And have fun without you! And you'll basically have nothing to talk to anyone about ever again because you didn't come to the social event of the year. And I'll make sure to act super awkward around you every time I see you from here on out, just to remind you that it was really rude of you to not come and spend money you don't have on things that clearly SHOULD be higher on your priority list than a decent mattress. I might even block you on Facebook.

Because we're not really friends unless you buy stuff at my party.

*Disclaimer: All examples used are based off actual invitations I've received recently. All but 1 have been in the past 2 weeks. PARTY OVERLOAD. Also, all of the people that invited me are good people, and I like them. If you take this post personally, or really in any way that doesn't make you laugh or at least smile, then you took it the wrong way. I don't base my like-level for you based off the number of times you buy things while sitting on my sofa, and I'd really like to hope that you don't either. Smile!