I just checked back in, and realized the last post on here was about my rather dramatic trip to the OR for a burst artery in my nose. Too bad we just finished our "highlights for the year" Christmas cards inserts.
This post is going to be more like a long journal entry than a post, so feel free to read, skip, or ignore. I won't be offended.
For those of you that *haven't* already seen (do you exist?) the news on social media, we're expecting!
I've mentioned it here before, but I have a condition called Endometriosis. I was diagnosed with Stage III, which means that (according to some studies) I have a less than 1% chance of being able to have children. That made this moment in July considerably more fun:
The hub's parents are pretty dang excited to be grandparents. It's basically the only thing they've wanted from us since we got married. To make it even better, we found out that our little one is going to have a cousin born two months later! They get to have two grandkids all at once, and I couldn't be more thrilled.
Did you notice the gender prediction in that video? We completely missed it! We watched the video again after we found out what we were having and heard him say "Must be a boy!" How did he know!? I love it. Love it love it love it.
This little guy's definitely put me through my paces! I've had severe morning sickness requiring medication. I've had blood pressure problems that resulted in my notorious brush with unconsciousness at a Walmart check-stand (thank heavens Nick was there!). I've had heartburn, swollen feet, dry skin, and brittle hair. I've been deprived of my favorite comfort food (Grandma Page's homemade macaroni and cheese!) because my body decided to hate new food groups. I had an abdominal pain scare that almost turned out to be appendicitis (thankfully it wasn't). I started having contractions at 26 weeks. I've spent more time on the couch and in bed in the past few months than I ever care to again. I also managed to catch some sort of bug that's going around, which is where I'm at right now: in bed, surrounded by Puffs Plus Lotion and cough drops. It's definitely been a whirlwind of a trip!
I've also, on occasion, felt murderous towards anyone that tells me that I shouldn't complain because I'm so lucky or because I have no idea how hard it will be after he comes. But that's a whole separate issue. haha
Really, we are very grateful. Scared out of our minds, but grateful. February 2016 can't come soon enough! I'm not sure that I'm ready to be a mom yet, but I'm definitely ready to not be pregnant, and Nick is dying to meet his son.
No, we don't have names picked yet.
In March, before we knew about this little bundle of joy, we had a scary hospital visit with Nick. He had intermittent back pain for a couple of weeks that never seemed to be a big deal. One day he came home and could barely move. Zooey (who is tuned into Nick's emotional and physical well-being in a scary accurate way) curled up next to him on the floor and refused to leave his side. We decided to take him in to the walk-in clinic at the hospital. They did an emergency scan of his abdomen and found what appeared to be cysts on his kidneys and referred us to a specialist.
We had a rough weekend full of pain medicine, then headed out to the Wasatch Front to see the Nephrologist. She gave us some bad news - Nick has a genetic disease called PKD (Polycystic Kidney Disease). Essentially what it means is that his body produces cysts all over his kidneys. The pain he felt was a cyst rupturing. The bad news came with some surprising good news. Even though both of his kidneys are covered in cysts, they're still managing to function at 100%. From what we understand, this is incredibly unusual. For now, he just has to make a couple of small diet changes (less soda, easy on the red meat), and make sure he stays hydrated. At some point down the road (20-40 years from now), he'll need dialysis and/or a transplant.
It's a blessing really to know this now, even though it might be scary. He can take preventative measures to slow the condition, and live a normal life for a long time. My personal perspective is this: everyone has something weird go wrong with their body as they get older. Nick just gets to know ahead of time what will happen to him. Really, this diagnosis is like a medical magic 8 ball.
The only concern we have at this point is that because PKD is genetic, our son will have a 50% chance of inheriting the disease, and likely won't know whether or not he has it until he is middle-aged. So, for now, we're leaving that one in God's hands.
I also hope and pray that Nick's biological parents, wherever they may be, are healthy. Genetics go in both directions, and I wish we had a way to tell them what we found out! There's a possibility they don't know that PKD runs in their family. I hope that one day I get a chance to meet his bio mom and thank her. It takes a lot of courage to place your child for adoption, and if it wasn't for that choice she made, I wouldn't have met the amazing man I married. :)
Also in 2015, we became foster parents! We've both always wanted to adopt, and felt like it was the right time to get started. The Utah Foster Care program really is incredible, and we've loved being a part of it. We actually found out we were expecting two days before our license officially came through. Adopting has taken a back seat for now, but it's definitely not off the table.
We had an opportunity to foster-to-adopt an adorable little 3 year old boy in October. Over the course of a month we met with him several times, and he came to spend time with us in our home. We fell in love with him quickly, and then the unimaginable happened. We suddenly felt that we were headed the wrong direction. I became depressed, our marriage struggled, and this poor little boy was stuck in the middle. We had to make a quick decision, and ended up calling DCFS and explained to them that, while we honestly thought it would work, it turned out that the timing was wrong for us. We felt that we needed to focus our time and energy on making sure that the baby we had on the way was going to be healthy, and that it wasn't fair to this little boy (who had already been through trauma) to be in our home while we were in turmoil. That phone call and the aftermath that followed were definitely the low point for our year. I believe that we made the right decision for both us and this little boy. That didn't make packing up all of his things and sending him away any easier. He is such a sweetheart, and I pray with all of my heart that he ends up in a caring and loving home, because he really deserves it.
After that experience, we spoke with our regional liaison and he assured us that he still thought we were good people (something I needed to hear). We decided together to not take any more placements until after our baby is born and my health is a little more stable.
On the employment front, Nick is still working with his fantastic employer here in Roosevelt. We love being with his company! I just wish they'd let us work for them from somewhere a little warmer and a little closer to a Target. ;)
I quit my stable work-from-home job when we thought we were adopting a toddler, then we had a panic moment when we realized he wasn't staying and I was no longer working. Fortunately, family came through and my older brother found me a pretty sweet gig developing reports for an IT company. I still get to work from home! The hours are fewer and more flexible, so I'll miss the steady income, but it will make being a mom so much easier!
I'm also still teaching piano lessons, although I'm not advertising that right now. I'm down to 2 students right now, and I haven't looked for more. I want to wait and see how being a mom and a piano teacher works first before I decide if taking on more students is a good idea.
Because becoming parents isn't a crazy enough step to take together as a married couple, we've also decided to send Nick back to school. He wants to finish up his Bachelor's degree to add to the CCNA certificate he earned a couple of years ago. We are so excited about this, and so nervous. We're going to have to navigate student loans and how to juggle time for work, homework, and parenting. I'm also super jealous that *he* gets to be the student, because I love school.
2015 has been a crazy year in a lot of ways, but it looks like 2016 is going to kick it up a notch and be even more nuts. We'll be renewing a foster care license, learning how to be parents, and tackling the return of the student. I can't wait!
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